Through the Dark North

The bus thunders past snowy landscape: low birches, candle like spruces, endless marches, small wooden huts and occasional fields. We have left gray town of Muonio behind some time ago. Soon the houses will disappear. There is very little human housing in “The Arm” which makes North Western end of Finland. It's hardly past two o'clock, but I can already feel the night that is falling. The light sneaks away slowly. Almost too slowly to notice. The bus stops at a post box. The driver throws a newspaper into the big mouthed post box. I feel the urge to yawn. Normally so inviting wild-mark feels depressing. Cold and lonely. I am sitting alone in the Kilpisjärvi post bus heading towards Tromsø and my new job – alone in the whole big modern bus apart from the bus driver. This state has continued over 200 kilometers for now. At the best there were two other people in the bus. Why on the Earth they are operating this route with a full-sized bus every day?

Autumn drifted past like a mist. I just couldn't grab it. Harder I tried, more I failed. Everything felt unreal – like a dream. Things didn't go as I planned. I had thought to go for a trip somewhere south, but I got stuck. It's a story it's own. My life has been so organized before. I have always had a plan for next few months. There has always been a goal to pursue. This time there were none. It drained my motivation and ate my dedication. I had little time to write. Even less motivation.

Haven't written here since October, I see. Haven't taken a single photo since I left Svalbard. What can I say? Sometimes one needs to stop running and look at the world around, I guess. But I am not sure, if I would like to do it again. I didn't see much and learned even less. Or maybe I just didn't like what I saw. I was made for running.

Now times have changed. Now I have a goal, again. I have got a job. A project, I shouldn't fail. It's a time to wake up the dedication. It's a time to continue writing. More about the project and future plans later on.

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